Ines Mariel

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Valentine's day is vastly approaching and for those who are lucky enough to be basking in love on that glorious day, I wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day.
Celebrating Valentine's Day in Malaysia isn't as depressing as it would have been in let's say other countries, (namely the white countries) since most people here believe it leads to fornication.
I mean come on. It's a no brainer that the only real reason why a guy does what he does on that day is to get laid in the first place. And everyone knows the easiest way to turn your girlfriend into a wild vixen that she is, is to buy her shiny things or eat at expansive restaurants because what girl wouldn't like to be treated like a pair of tits and vaginas. It's basically the equivalent of your undying devotion to a girl. 

Religion aside it is safe to say that my expectations for the day is and forever will be very low. So don't expect me to get off on branded scarf or by whisking me away to a tropical getaway, because you are just wasting your time, or are you? To be honest if I recalled correctly, I had only celebrated the mushy occasion once; that's if you count "planning to break up with a guy to find out he bought me a necklace and end up changing my mind and breaking up with him the following week" as a way of celebrating, then yes, I only celebrated it once in my life.

Personally I have nothing against Vday, heck even with my current situation I can still find it somewhat sweet. Yes the argument of "you don't need a special day to proclaim your love" is valid but then again you wouldn't need a Birthday, Mother's Day, Teacher's Day or  Pet's Day because of how appreciative you were all year round sending people cards and presents. I am not saying that materials convey love, but just think about the people that you care and needed the reminder. They deserve to feel appreciated. It also stops them from going wild and biting other people's ears off because that is what you call common sense, people. An appreciated person is a person who you are assured will not bite your ears off as long as you keep them that way.

For those who are not celebrating Vday because they are either single/in a long distance relationship/in an imaginary relationship/in prison and still straight, here are my top 3 ideas on how to
ruin other people's day, namely couples that make you want to hurl out rainbows not because you are alone, but because they are just downright inconsiderate with their sickening happiness and holding hands and sweet banter....yuck.

#1. Go to the guy (if you're a girl, or vice versa), and say "Because of you" and walk away slowly while maintaining direct eye contact the whole time . Make sure they turn away first otherwise continue until they eventually do.
#2. Hire a musician and get them to serenade you in public. For example if you are ready to go to the grocery store, bring a musician along so that he will serenade you whilst you are doing your grocery. Choose your couple and go to the guy or girl (depending on what your sexual orientation, really) and say "Now I know why you paid for this!" and point to the Spanish guy who is still serenading you with a love song you don't quite know the meaning to.
#3. Wrap a present and shove it back to the nearest lovey dovey couple you can find. This wouldn't be so hard, on the count of couples are formed every 2 miliseconds. Do this with tip #1 to get the extra kick. Priceless I tell you.

Or the best way to cope with being alone is to give yourself the extra le sexy time, if you know what I mean. Ever notice how by adding "if you know what I mean" at the end of a statement you risk it sounding sexual, for example;
Bananas are yellow, if you know what I mean.
Rabbits are robots, if you know what I mean.
You must be from Costa Rica, if you know what I mean.
Pour the water in the cup, if you know what I mean.

Hahahaha, I need a life don't I?

Friday, January 27, 2012

To sum it all up, our trip to Langkawi was a dream and I am talking about the food, the people, the island, even shit smells better when you are on vacation. Since a picture is worth a thousand words, and I am not in the mood to start my rants, ta-dah....!


Friday, January 13, 2012

Since my previous entry was done in the midst of finals, I never seem to find the time to actually sit down and let my creative juices flow with what my last minute studying and all. After 2 hours of consequent tossing and turning in my bed trying to recover the sleep time I lost from last minute cramming sessions, I gave up. My sleeping pattern is so fucked up these days because not only can I not sleep at night, I find myself dozing off haphazardly throughout the day. Just the other day I nearly banged my head on the toilet wall while taking a shower. As dangerous as it sounds, I was more amused at the thought of my capability to sleep while standing. The only mammal on the top of my head that can do the same is a horse. That pretty much qualifies as talent in my book.

Anyways, since catching some Z's is near to impossible right now, I guess this would be the best time to write an entry about my resolutions even though I am pretty sure I can barely keep up with it. Because of this I am keeping them really small, minute even, just so I won't overwhelm myself with high expectations just to discover that at the end of the year, I didn't accomplished any of it. So for this year I have made it a point to lower my expectations and start as I said earlier, small. After all the smaller the expectation the lesser the disappointment.

1. Reducing verbal abuse and assault/death threats.
I know it really isn't something you would want to hear from anyone because first of all it ruins your day and your mood. Second, I am pretty sure its a felony in some country, so that shows how scarring words can be. Plus, I am starting to realize that threatening others with words like, "I am going to cut you" or "I am going to pull your nipples so hard and make tiny ribbons out of them" perceives me as someone who is not, in a more polite term "healthy in the head". So yes, I vow that no matter how angry I get at someone or how much I would love to take a knife and stab them numerous times where they would bleed a slow bloody death yet be conscious enough to notice I am stealing their wallet, I would tone down my profanities and keep it to myself, especially because this helps save the embarrassment from people thinking that I have Tourettes.

2.Start reading the News.
I have already started doing this before the end of the year thanks to my current beau who won't stop nagging about my ignorance. By far my biggest feat, even though it really is what you are suppose to do, like squeezing at the end of the toothpaste and not the middle, or sitting while peeing when you clearly don't have the tools to stand. It's called sensibility. And to girls out there who have IQs less than a walrus, gossip columns aren't really headlines.

3. Exercise More and Eat Less Healthier
I'm ashamed to say that on numerous occasion I have been to the doctors because I tend to eat more than my tummy can handle and end up barfing it all out. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, trust me it is one of the most awkward conversations of my life, period. Because put yourself in my place, and imagine being told to eat the "right amount of food for your body"? Granted I don't have a large tank as it is proportional to my petite build, but really, being told how much to eat is like being reminded that the right shoe goes on the right foot ten thousand fucking public. Just to be clear, this is totally different from Bullimia because unlike the ED I want the food to stay in my body. With my eternal love for sweet decadent food and the fact that I know I am not fat, you would realize where my predicament starts, unless I start feeling fat which usually follows up to my PMS. Still, even though I love my body, I still think it needs a little bit more toning up. Probably a few exercises here and there, nothing too drastic that I'll end up looking like a bulky gorilla, because really who are we kidding here. Ya hear that sweet marshmallow face of a belly? Ya gots to go.

 4. Going organic.
Starting with my toiletries. As expensive as they are to stock up, I manage to switch my usual shower gel and shampoo to a more environmental friendly option. Unfortunately though I use 3 or 4 different types of body wash and shampoo in a week because I am one crazy mofo. Anywho it wasn't a massive step to take seeing that I am already a big fan of organic products since they have less harsh chemicals put in them so you benefit from it more. I am also going au naturale with my make up. I don't know what this has to do with "going organic", but less is always more. Plus it will motivate me to concentrate more on my beauty regime. oo la la~~~

So that's it. My New Year's resolutions. At least it looks a little bit more promising than "not skipping classes" or "not procrastinating my studies" or "save more money". Before I go, here are pictures from Pui Yee's birthday. Had dinner at Silver Spoon and took the party to The Beer Factory. One word : Awesome.


Tuesday, January 3, 2012

"Haters: they hate what you look like, whacha wearing, whacha drivin, whacha think about, whacha talk about...they fuckin hate it but you gonna have to understand thats the way it is.....Have you eva caught a muthafuka starin at you with the "i just caught the stomach virus face"? ever just out yo peripheral everything bout you just fuck with them." - Kat Williams

Honestly I don't really mine that I have haters because it reminds me that I am still relevant even to the people who loathe my guts and can't stand to be in the same room as I am. It is an inevitable vicious cycle that I myself am a part of. Still there is healthy hate, and there is the hate that is just pathetic. 
Healthy hate as I like to practice is by bitching about that person while stalking their Facebook...of course most of the people I hate I have already blocked,so that leaves me and my imagination picturing all sorts of tribulations that eventually lead the people I hate to a slow, but painful death. Like a scene out of Saw. As sick as that sounds it doesn't really affect the person I hate, because unless all of my imaginations come true I don't see how I am hurting them.
Which brings me to the other method of hating. 
The sad, pathetic practiced by ball-less low life kind of hate. A disclaimer : unless you are allergic to other peoples' happiness, it is a mystery how someone can actually choose this path. I imagine that they weren't hugged as much as a child or had to sleep in a kennel when they were a baby, but regardless of what the causes are, it really isn't an excuse. 
Unless of course you have a face only a mother could love... which by the way really depends, because even Quasimodo had a heart of gold, and he, of all people should be hating on his parents for finding each other and giving him the wrong set of genes, or the whole human race as a matter of fact just because plastic surgery wasn't even introduced back then. Granted, he is a fictional character... so just omit everything I said after Quasimodo.
Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah..
Personally the way I see it is, for a person to devote their valuable time and effort without second guessing to post hate comments really is a beacon of how poignant their life is. 
Can you imagine how hard it is to think of malicious slurs whilst pointing out all the instantaneous flaws you find the millisecond you open their blog, and worse of all not being able to take any form of credit for it because your low self esteem only goes so far as to only enable you to hide behind anonymity? Sure there are certain high breed assholes out there who can do this effortlessly, but bitch please, if the highlight of my life is to listen to an asshole, I might as well lock myself in the room and hear my own fart. Get it? Fart cuz it comes from your ass hole? I'm funny aren't I?
I would write more, but I really do not want to insult those who are already insulted by my presence but still insultingly comes here often to be deliberately insulted, because really, it is insulting. Like comparing your geography test scores to a sloth. Or claiming that you are better than Helen Keller at a game of spot the not.

Happy New Year everyone!

P/S : I really miss writing, even for short posts like these despite harnessing the vocabulary and writing skills of a 6th grader. New Years resolution #87247793 : to write more on blog
P/S/S : I find this song very addictive